1. The Real New Guy….Like The One I Actually Want to Fuck. 

    He is these three fictional characters combined and I want to rip his clothes off. This is the first time in years I have lusted over someone. We shall see how this progresses. 

     

  2. The New Guy

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    Let me tell you, briefly, about this guy I am sort of dating, and not fucking at all. In fact, let’s just get it out of the way: we haven’t even kissed. But before you write-me-off as a complete freak know this: I am kind of in a weird place. And I say that as the most general statement ever. Every time this dude gets near me, like when we’re standing waiting to cross the street he will get very close to my body, and I want to scream. I want to turn around and say: don’t you dare fucking touch me. But enough about that, let me tell you about how cool this guy is. Our first date happened to fall on Dave’s 39th birthday. No joke. And it wasn’t a premeditated scheme on my part. It just so happened to be the day that I was free. 

    Alex and I met on HowAboutWe, where else? We met up at a tapas place in Chelsea and let me first list everything this guy did on date number 1 that no other dude has ever done for me…EVER. 

    1. Kissed me on both cheeks (he isn’t gay, but European) 

    2. Ordered for the both of us (after asking me what I wanted)

    3. Pulled out the chair for me!

    4. Paid for the whole check (ALL NIGHT, and we were out for 8 hours). No dude, not even Dave paid a bill that extensive. 

    So yes, tapas led to a fashion party (that I casually invited him too), which led to another bar, which then led to a late-night dinner. It was the best first date I have ever been on. People tell him he looks like Jake Gyllenhaal. And he sort of us does around the eyes, but I don’t personally see it. 

    So far we’ve been on like six or seven dates, and like I said I won’t let him near me in that way, but he is great company and a real gentlemen. It’s clear the dude is rebounding too so I think we’re pretty good together…for now. And each time we hang out we have endless things to talk about, he always pays, which is so sweet. I invite him out to cool parties too. His only downfall is that he texts all the time. Like a lot. And the last thing I need right now is a dude on my ass about whatever I am doing. I want to be free. Free of a man. 

     

  3. SUMMER OF YES

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    haven’t blogged in a few months. Here’s why: 1) It’s my fucking SUMMER OF YES, which means: Fuck all things that concern Dave. 2) I signed the divorce forms. 3) I’ve been fucking busy living my life 4) Therapy has helped me move on, sort of. 5) I’ve been sort of dating someone. 6) Like I said in number 1; it’s fucking summer so it’s all about me and not about my ongoing thoughts regarding how I wish he would die/come back/die/fuck himself. So that’s what’s been going on in a nutshell. Still miserable without him. Still beyond happy that he is out of my life. 

     
  4. Should have gone with these lawyers. FML

     
  5. A textured love, flaws and all. 

     
  6. The Cat is Out of the Bag

    Everyone knows. The.Entire.Family.Knows. Now if I could stop thinking about him. 

     
  7. Things, I possess, with a longer shelf life than my marriage

     

  8. Man Struck, Killed by Tractor Trailer in Brooklyn

    I emailed Dave today and asked him to send me the divorce papers. I didn’t get a response from him. I think I know why. 

     
  9. I’m torn. I wish the end of our relationship didn’t have to involve paperwork, taxes forms or any kind of exchange. 

    I just want to pretend as if he never existed. I don’t want to contact him ever again. I don’t want to tell him to mail me the divorce papers. I don’t want to figure out how to give back the ring. I don’t want to see him ever again. 

    The thought of Dave alone haunts me every day. I am fine most of the time except when I’m alone. He creeps up on me when the music in my ears is in between songs. 

    I can’t take it. I want him deleted from my heart and my brain. 

     
  10. Tomorrow is the 1st of April. Almost four months since the day he left. I need to tell the rest of my family. I need to ask him for the divorce papers. The time is now. Why am I waiting?